Remaining the same

Stayed the same this morning, which I'm actually pleased about, as I ate very little on Monday, and was way dehydrated by drink. I feel my body has had time to catch up with itself, so a pound loss tomorrow would be awesome.

9lbs in one week. Well happy with that. Hopefully a stone by Monday, just in time for the pub quiz.

Had a bit of a funny turn this morning - felt disconnected, discombobulated - like I had been unplugged from the matrix, like my body and soul were working independantly of each other. Was seriously freaky. I wasn't walking, just floating down the platform at West Ham (Jubilee line) I called Number One who was like you need to eat more in the AM. He's right, I think I need to make more of an effort to eat.

Can you believe those words are coming out of my mouth. How the tables have turned!

76 in 79

Down another two today. 9lb in 6 days.
I'm a bit hungover (quadruple vodkas) so energy to type is lacking.
Lots of water, no dinner and a morning excavate. Also walking and dancing yesterday.
Will write later, too zzzzz for this.

If she can lose 18.5 stone, I can lose 6 stone 1. For sure

Eighteen and a half stone!

Wow.

78 in 80

Down another pound today, which I am super pleased about, as I had two portions of strawberries and double cream yesterday.

That means 7lbs since Wednesday. Half a stone. In 5 days. What's not to love about Atkins? Number One is being super supportive, and is stressing about how I'm going to deal with Thursday (working until Midnight) and Friday (going out with Orlando [think a really hot, super talented Calvin Harris]). I'll be cool as cats, I reckon - Dec 12 is too important to fuck with.

I'm planning on going into work everyday this week (although maybe not thursday or friday), as it means an hour of walking a day, which I desperately need. Also, going to have to get the Wii out again this evening and do some boxing.

The Master Cleanse, eh?

The Master Cleanse aka The Lemonade Diet, is where you just drink a cocktail of maple syrup, lemon, cayenne pepper for about 10 days, and you obviously drop a good few pounds as no solids are going through your guts. Beyonce did it for that shitty film Dreamgirls.

But what I didn't know it that is sounds very much like much like colonic irrigation, but your putting the water into another hole. Get this:

It's common to pass pounds of waste in just 10 days on the Master Cleanse, and not the normal kind of waste. It's often black as tar -- The hardened phlegm and mucus comes out like long chunks of rubber -- The waste comes out holding the shape of the inside of your intestine because it's been inside you for years.

It's also common to pass marble sized gallstones which are green and yellow balls of hardened cholesterol that can block the bile ducts from the liver to the small intestine which can be fatal if you don't remove them.

Is it sick to be turned on by that?
I'm thinking I might take a week and a half off work and give this ago and have some CI (not in the same week though).

79 in 81

Down another pound today, but it was close - it was swinging between a loss and a sts, but I'm happy with this. Need to excavate, but that can wait. I feel it coming.

The two days where I lost two pounds, I went to work, so already it proves that that hours exercise a day and lots of water do help.

It's Sunday today though, and I can't be arsed. Might get the Wii out and do a bit of boxing, or might persuade Number One to take me into town and get some new jeans. My existing pair have disintegrated at the thigh, a casualty of chafe.

80 in 82

Another two pounds down this morning, and comfortably into a new stone category. Not saying which one though, obviously. You'll never recover.

So five pounds in three days. Nice numbers, obviously unsustainable, but a good start. Hopefully by payday (six days time), I might begin to notice a change. Gut is definitely looking smaller.

Yesterday's question was boat or bum blitz, and it looks like bum blitz. Went to see the boat this morning and was all a bit too much. Would need a good few thousands to sort it, and I don't have so that's that.

Thailand it is.

Somebody noticed!

Guess what!?

I just had a liquid lunch (vodka and diet coke) with my pal Independently Wealthy, who said I was looking svelte when he turned up with his bench-chewing bitch (his dog, not his woman, although sometimes I do wonder if that line is blurred in his head).

It's only been three days, and I was giving it my best Keira Knightly (jutting out the lower jaw to lengthen neck and remove jowls) but I'm taking that as a compliment, especially as it was he who called me out as chunky in the first place.

Ah, doctore!

82 in 83

Whoo, two pounds down today. Well pleased with that, especially pre-ketosis. Bring it on.

In other news, I was watching Mock The Week last night, and that generally unfunny black chick, Gina Yashere has lost a tonne of weight and looks awesome. A completely different person. She went from a 18 to a 12, but looks slimmer that that to me, but Number One says, nah, that's about right. He obviously knows what he's talking about.

Made me think about how different I must look when I yo yo. It's funny that you can't really tell how much you've changed, but other people must be having a good old gossip about you. Hmm, sort of validates my staying-in-disease really. I'm not going to leave Aubrey for 85 days (if only that were possible!)

Also, I'm desperate to go on a colonic spa retreat - seven days, 14 enemas. Appealing. Can lose a stone in that week, but have to go to Thailand to do it. Poor me. The only thing is that I'm planning on buying another boat to add to the fleet this weekend, so that's a choice I have to make. Have found a company in London, who I might turn to. Boat or bum spritzes...Hmmm.

84 in 84

Yay a pound down this morning, and that was pre-morning clearout, if you know what I mean. Chuffed with that.

Currently eating roast shoulder of pork with rocket salad at my desk, and its a bit gross to be honest. The chef has stuffed the pig with so many cloves, its inedible and is making my mouth numb. Puke. I'm going to launch the whole meal, but luckily it was under £4.

OK its launched. I guess the cloves detract from the immenent Atkins breath. I've been aware that that's on its way, can feel it at the back of my tounge. Also I had garlic mayo for breakfast today, and dinner (round two) last night, so that's definately not helping the cause, is it really.